Tech, Sex and Romance

Has the traditional idea of romance been damaged by our ability to have more transient encounters, or are we more sexually liberated by innovation in sex technology?

People are pleasure seekers. We all seek pleasure in a myriad of ways and Coco de Mer is a place to delve deeper into our desires. 

As the Home of Pleasure, we want these experiences to be luxurious, enticing, and empowering. We want to encourage the exploration of our desires and our imagination, celebrating mutual pleasure and individual satisfaction. We want to enable a more progressive viewpoint, whilst creating a beautiful, joyful, empowered landscape for all to discover.  The power of discovery can have the most incredible impact on how we understand ourselves, emotionally and physically.

Technological innovation is allowing people to explore their dreams and pleasures in ways we’ve never imagined possible. There are challenges with technology, no doubt. But the resoundingly positive impacts it can have for each of us are almost limitless. We all have the choice to integrate technology into our lives from a powerfully positive perspective. 

When it came to romance, technology was once considered something of an antithesis - a transactional dimension, lacking in emotions. Human experience and innovation have completely turned that on its head. In our romantic relationships, and beyond, technology has removed boundaries and democratised our interactions. More of us can find connections, more common ground, and many more fulfilling exchanges. We have the choice to be more comfortable speaking about certain topics through virtual conversation, and we are better able to make connections with people who may be very far away, but so very similar to us, in very niche, very special ways.

Because technology has given us both democratisation and anonymity, women in particular are finding a sense of empowerment that may not have been as easily established before. We are able to explore more freely, and we are increasingly able to set boundaries, exerting power and demands in a way that maybe we would not have otherwise. And, women and men alike have gained confidence through the use of technology - including dating apps - because we are all able to take our time with a situation and even put on a persona that we may not be able to portray in a real-life situation, such as role-playing or being the dominant partner. We explore, we connect, and we feel more comfortable and confident establishing our needs. 

The increasing appetite for, and business of sex toys is a testament to that. Valued at around £25bn, the investment shows just how the evolution in designs, the technological advances, and the user experience has provided such notable benefits for sexual pleasure. (Discover more about this in our piece about the evolution of the sex toy). Bringing new technologies into a relationship does not have to dampen the romance available to a couple. Far from it. Exploring together, discovering together that intimacy is such a powerful bond and creates a unique strength between partners.

There is no doubt that the sense of touch, companionship, and intimacy are crucial in developing a happy life, so technology and eroticism have the potential and the promise to tie much more closely together. We are seeing this happening already. Whether it’s couples using smart sex toys that are designed beautifully and enable more ways of exploring pleasure together, sex dolls that are becoming increasingly more active and sophisticated, or sex-specific apps (think Tinder but much more advanced) which will allow you to meet the partner of your dreams - with all the same sexual tastes as you. Time Magazine wrote a piece that considered the advances of AI and the increase in people finding relationships with bots, easing the issues of loneliness and isolation. 

There is, of course, a less positive side to the technological advancements in the world of sex and relationships. The key areas which stand out are the lack of intimacy, which is leading to a shockingly lonely generation, despite the limitless ways to interact. Considering the online stratosphere, and with the desire to capture every moment, people are no longer living in the moment. Should you watch a live concert through the video function on your phone or should you just enjoy and experience the atmosphere around you then and there, and remember those memories? 

Considering the evolution and role of sex dolls as well, whilst the designs have been hugely improved to feel incredibly real, the negative impact is notable for women - acting as a way for men to continue to objectify women, literally treating them as objects, taking us so many steps backward in the fight to empower female pleasure.

In addition, the rise of online pornography and the impact it is having on younger generations is changing how they are learning about sex. Young girls and boys who do not have the maturity to distinguish between reality and fantasy may feel the pressure to perform in a certain way that is neither pleasurable nor safe for their fragile bodies and minds. Even for the adult, there is a huge increase in addiction and the breakdown of relationships since the prevalence of online porn. Once again, the choice to watch rather than live in the moment with your partner. 

Throughout time, the sex industry has led our conversations around eroticism, fantasies, consent, and sex education, and they did so long before mainstream media tackled these subjects. Technology and intimacy are quite the same. Safe, consensual, intimate fantasies are ready for you to explore. Technology is not a threat. It is a way for you to realise your dreams, one exhilarating experience at a time. This is a new sexual revolution - one whose roots are in technology - and it is both exciting and terrifying. We tend to prefer the former and strive to ensure that it outweighs the latter.

Coco de Mer has been at the leading edge of erotica for a long time. Building a luxury brand around personal experience has allowed us to craft and control any new developments to ensure that our customers' experiences are always personalised and special. The rise of technology will be no different. We can harness the good and minimise the bad, through empowerment and communication, creating a safe space to explore and discover. Sex will always be here and at Coco de Mer the experience will always be beautiful and extraordinary. 

It is ours to own and explore… Enjoy it.